Maybe this is selfish of me to be putting something like this here, where everyone can see it. Maybe I should just write whatever I'm thinking of right now on a piece of paper, then burn it so that even forensic experts can't determine what I wrote. But now, I'm just looking for an outlet. I want to write. I want to express myself using these words that is just creating all my pent up frustration. If you don't know me, or even if you know me, you really should stop reading this post, and just move on and do whatever it is you do in your dull, mundane life where you work extremely hard to put on a mask just to impress and make people whom you actually don't give a shit about happy. I'm serious, unless you want to hear me rant, just leave this post alone.
Roughly translated, the pictures say: If you don't like the real me, then just choose a skin that you like, I'll act it out for you.
Pretending to be someone other people think you are instead of who you really are is going to kill you one day. Everyday day in day out showing others a mask that you made specially for them. It PISSES ME OFF.
It isn't because I don't care about you. Its because there are some things in this world that are completely out of my control, and just because I want something it doesn't mean that it is the right choice.
Yea, frankly, all I want to say is that I really hate relationships, or maybe I just hate talking to people. You can pour your bloody soul into making the other person happy, and just let yourself be ignored until the other person requires your services again. If you've read up to here, you probably can give me some advice: Why can't relationships be the same as sports, or work, or even studying? With a certain amount of effort, at least you will see some sort of result, it only depends on how you try or how you learn.
With relationships, everything can just crumble around you because of one misplaced word, one wrong gesture, and everything, really everything you've worked for over so many months can just come crashing down around you. I don't see how that is supposed to work. Its like saying: Oh, you know those gifts you gave him/her? They actually don't mean anything, and the time you spent doing stuff for them? Its community work, it just says that you are a really nice, kind and helpful person. Well, news flash for the uninitiated, this has been put through clinical trials countless times, the good guys DON'T get the girl in the end. You can always be there for the person but I can confirm this for you, there is nothing like putting all your time and energy into a hopeless relationship. You should try it sometime, you either end up suicidal or homicidal.
One can say that only an idiot can fall in love. That is absolutely true, that's why I never believed someone like me would ever like someone enough to fall for them. Its basically illogical and can't happen. It doesn't make sense. I am a utilitarian, whereby I will always make the decision that benefits the most the people concerned. There is absolutely no feasible way an individual like me can have sentimental feelings for someone else. But, what happens when the armour begins to crack, the roof begins to leak, and everything starts to fall apart?
You get dropped into a shithole you have never seen and probably never will see again. You can be abused, mistreated, but you'll only crawl back for more. Why? You can't get past the only friends barrier because your brain tells you that its not possible. It didn't make sense. It's not that you cannot go after the person, its because you know that nothing good will come of chasing the person. There's a saying that you can pretend to not see what you don't want to see, but you can't ignore what you feel about someone or stop thinking about the person. ITS NOT POSSIBLE, that's the thing Your heart tells you to do it, but your brain stops you, saying, no, its not possible. Nothing good will come of it. Just run. Shut them out. Ignore anything to do with them until you no longer like them. That is the path you should take, if you don't want to get hurt.
Yes, that is the best possible path to take, the utilitarian path, where the individual never gets hurt, just because he is too afraid to care about someone. Is it? Or is it natural selection? I don't know. Only being able to think logically and selecting the best path to take in any situation or scenario has been my only redeeming quality. But, sometimes I wish I was never born with this talent.
It has already been 9 episodes since the 9th season of Two and A Half Men came out, with Ashton Kutcher now being the half in the series, we would probably be expecting some interesting stuff from them, but....
Out of the 9 episodes, I only found 3-4 of them enjoyable, the last 2 were particularly bad, tying in Charlie, maybe just to promote the ratings. Hardcore TAAHM would probably have quit the series by now, and I would agree with them as well.
Yes. The Big Bang Theory. I know that a lot of people already watch this series, but I only recently started watching it. To put it the Barney Stinson way: It is Legen-wait-for-it-dary.
For The Big Bang Theory, mixed with the dissappointment of 2 and a half men, I would give it a rating of 8/10, same as the previous 2 and a half men series.
这年来，发生了许多不可思议的事情了，没办法抽空在这跟你们哆嗦， 但我希望再次开始写blog了。记得我有个朋友告诉我：
